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Anger Management

All you Need to Know About Anger Management

Rage or anger is one of the real human feelings; it is as basic as joy, depression, fear, or anxiety. All of these feelings are related to simple subsistence and have been developed over the history of the social development of human beings. 

The intensity of anger can vary from being annoyed to an extreme level of rage. Anger and frustration can be controlled most of the time. Moreover, it is indeed generally harmless to feel angry sometimes or another.

Anger management involves identifying the reasons for your rage, which will help you keep calm and prevent you from rising to an extremely unhealthy level.

Anger and frustration stem because of several reasons, and they may vary greatly. Some common triggers of rage include:

1. In many situations, personal issues such as lack of advancement at work or complications in a relationship can also trigger anger

2. A crisis incurred because of another person, such as last-minute canceling plans 

3. Incidents like bad traffic or a car crash can also trigger anger

4. Memories of a painful or enraged experience

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

Aristotle

Triggers for anger

Feelings of anger or rage can be triggered regardless of how we perceive and respond to such circumstances. All of us have our reasons for what makes us angry, but some of the main factors are mentioned below.

Depression 

Frequent episodes of anger may be a sign of depression. Anger developed because anger is characterized by a persistent sense of distress, sadness, and lack of motivation continuously for a couple of days and lasts for weeks. Rage may be silenced or displayed freely. 

Obsessive-compulsive disorder 

OCD is an anxiety disorder marked by depressive moods, obsessive thinking, behavioral problems, and compulsive behavior. A person dealing with OCD experiences intrusive, upsetting feelings and negative thoughts that make them do something repeatedly. Anger can also be triggered by not avoiding obsessive and repeated thinking and compulsive behavior, or even when someone interferes with your daily routine.

Anger & Frustration

Anger & frustration are one of the phases of grief. People experience grief because of losing a loved one, going through a dark phase such as divorce or separation, or losing a career. When our efforts do not satisfy our standards or others like our parents or friends, our wish to feel significant is undermined. Discontent arising from the inability to fulfill our goals is among the key causes of getting upset and angry.

Fear

Fear is generally considered a major trigger for anger. Fear of disappointment, embarrassment, or failure may evoke a sense of angry emotion. Fear of the unknown might also result in anger. The emotion is fear is transformed into emotions of anger by our brain to combat our fears.

Bipolar Disorder

It is a neurological condition that involves dramatic and sudden shifts in mood. The intensity of these mood swings can vary from general anxiety to extreme depression, although not everyone struggling with bipolar disorder struggles with depression.

What are the types of anger?

Trying to channel your frustration in a positive direction will allow you to concentrate on yourself and people. Without channeling your rage, it might affect your relationships.

Aggressive Anger

Anger is the emotion of war because when someone is angry, they will instinctively attempt to attack others. When we’re crazy, we care less about other people, and we’re going to hurt them more quickly. In reality, when we’re upset, our values shift from ‘be good’ to ‘inflict hurt.’

Defensive Anger

When, a human, is unexpectedly attacked, a primal fight-or-flight reflex is induced, where an adrenaline boost makes your muscle strength. Under such circumstances, being feared is an initial instinctive reaction, which gives you the signal to run away. If an individual is backed into a corner or taking a flight does not seem like the best option, fighting might seem a relatively better choice. This is also why fear always turns to anger, and the defending individual could even appear as an aggressor.

Outraged anger

As members of society, we have to obey a set of laws, such as social norms and principles, to work together. Typical guidelines cover being honest as well as not hurting others and helping the needy. If a person breaks these laws and regulations, we experience an angry sense of betrayal and moral anger, making us see the person as malicious and deserving of strict punishment. 

Frustrated anger

When we accomplish our goals, we experience a feeling of fulfillment or satisfaction as our desire for a sense of power is validated. When things don’t plan, we easily get upset and angry.

Passive aggression

It is also one of the common methods in which people express their anger. And that happens when people reach to find it very difficult to communicate. The lack of communication ability can worsen the symptoms, which eventually stimulate anger as a defense response. It may also reflect impulsivity, frustration, or rudeness, which are all driven because of anger.

What are the symptoms of anger?

Anger can have both- physical and emotional symptoms. While it may be common for people to experience these symptoms in certain circumstances, an individual with anger management problems is likely to develop them more often and to an extreme degree.

– Anger that threatens your friendship and social life.

– Feeling you’ve got to hide or hang on to your frustration.

– Constant pessimistic thoughts and emphasis on negative events.

– Often feeling impatient, frustrated, and hostile.

– Frequently arguing with others.

– Unable to manage the anger.

– Feeling aggressive or doing impulsive acts because you feel frustrated.

How to manage your anger?

1) Trying different relaxation techniques 

This technique involves deep and slow breathing to calm your thoughts. This is the best way to calm yourself, take deep breaths, and feel the air move inside and outside of your lungs, inhale and exhale gradually in a relaxed manner.

You can also try repeating a relaxing word or sentence to make the process easier. Repeating a mantra like “everything is gonna be fine” or “cool down” is going to help you a lot in overwhelming situations. You can also try saying the mantra out loud if you want to, but speaking it under your breath or in your head will also be very effective.

2) Trying to solve your problem

Anger can be triggered because of several difficulties. And while sometimes anger is reasonable when things don’t go as you have expected, anger is not the right approach to solve the problem. The easiest way to come to terms with an unexpected situation is to find out how to solve that problem.

Having angry outbursts and panic attacks won’t get you anywhere. But this doesn’t imply that you can’t let your feelings go to a friend or family member. Furthermore, giving yourself some space to express your rage tends to stop it from bubbling inside you. 

3) Communication is the key

Every time people feel frustrated or angry, it is common that they jump to any conclusions even though these are completely baseless. When you have an intense argument, take a moment and think about your responses before you lash out at the other person. Take the time to listen to the other person as well. Having effective communication will help you to overcome issues with your anger level.

4) Try doing something you truly enjoy

We all have rough days where we feel frustrated with everything and every person. This is completely normal, but it is not the best approach to tackle your problems. What you can rather do is refocus on the good parts of your day or life in general. 

5) Have a change of scenery 

Whenever you feel that your anger is getting out of control, you can try taking a walk outside your office or home. Some people also clean or organize your workspace, a very efficient way to control your frustration or anger.

6) Ask for help

It is very unfortunate that there are many stigmas associated with the importance of mental health. While most people live their lives fully consumed with their problems, others don’t know what to do. It is important to know complete health includes mental health.

Unless you are mentally fit, you won’t be able to live a healthy life. So if you are feeling low, you cannot control your anger, or are suffering from any mental health issue, ask for help. There is always someone out there to help you out – all you need is to ask.

Conclusion

Anger is a very normal human expression, just like being happy or sad. Getting angry in certain situations like getting stuck in traffic for hours or having a rough day at the office is normal. Still, frequent episodes of anger can ruin your relations with friends, family, and colleagues. Next time you feel your temper rising, take a deep breath and focus on calming things. It will take practice, but you will find a way to control it.